Favregnügen!: DESERT SESSIONS

Friday, September 26, 2008

DESERT SESSIONS

The hapless Jets welcome Arizona to New Jersey this weekend. Look for Brett to tearfully announce his re-retirement if this game is anything like the debacle at San Diego.

After Monday night's embarrasment, Jets management has threatened to put "heads on sticks" if things don't change. Brenda Warner, as usual, is one step ahead.

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The Final Countdown

As the heart of summer descends upon us, the thoughts of red-blooded American men turn to sweat and shoulder pads. Baseball may be all well and good until training camp opens, but 'tis the battles of the gridiron that truly fire the loins.

Our hero stands at a crossroads. To his right, the high road, comprised of six steps, six steps to glory. And on his left, the low road, a mere four steps to ignominy, so close its scent tickles his nose hairs.

Ladies and gentleman, I present for your consideration one Brett Lorenzo Favre, long-standing employee of the publicly-owned Green Bay Packer organisation of the National Football League. At some point during this upcoming season, Mr. Favre may have an opportunity to throw his seventh touchdown pass, bringing his career total to 421 and placing him alone atop the list of this most admirable statistic, just beyond the 420 achieved by CBS-TV's own Daniel Constantine Marino, Jr.

And at some other point during this season, you can be assured that Mr. Favre will certainly, for the fifth time, sail an errant pass directly into the arms of the opposition, giving him a career total of 278 interceptions, also an all-time high, surpassing the dubious achievement of George Frederick Blanda. The interception has become something of a specialty for Mr. Favre in his twilight years; he's thrown 50 in the past two seasons alone, desperately grasping for Blanda's record.

Join us as we follow Farve's pursuit of these two hallowed highwater marks in the history of our great game called football. Will he reach both? Will he at last sustain a serious injury? Which will he reach first?