1 Favregnugen award to our hero, Da Brett-Man!

Oh yeay! Favre ties Elway for most victories for starting QB, the unmentioned part though is that he contributed no points to this game. We also see our hero increasing his INTs to 274, a mere 3 short of the all time record!

September 9, 2007 - Lambeau Field
Brett Favre:
TD:0 INT:1

you are hereby awarded one Favregnugen award! ENJOY THE SPOILS!!!!

There's Something About Mumbling Incoherently

Friend-of-the-Nüg M— from West Vee-Ay has asked that we address the acting prowess Brettie Boop displyed during his woefully misbegotten tenure in the Magical Land of Hollywood. What follows is a scene from the Farrelly Brothers' There's Something About Mary. It is not suitable for children, especially impressionable ones who may aspire to a career in the performing arts.

You can stop watching it after about 2:15, when Brett-Boy's mercifully brief cameo comes to a welcome end. Or you can stop watching aroung 0:13, just before Brett-O opens his mouth and smears his incomprehensible Gulf Coast drawl all over the scene. Or you can skip ahead to 2:20 and just watch the Jonathan Richman parts, 'cause he rules. Or, for God's sake, you don't have to watch it. Save yourself.


I think we can safely conclude that Brett-Brett is equally skilled at both acting and figuring out which team he's supposed to be throwing the ball at. Other than that, the less said about this ignominious moment in the annals of celluloia the better.

Artist Rendition of Actual Events Pt1&2

Brett-boy: Not Ready For Prime Time

You know, kids, our buddy Brett-boy's thrown a lot of passes over the years. But only one man caught one of those passes in both college and the NFL. Can you guess who it is? Here's a hint:

That's right, it's none other than Prime himself, Neon Deion! But wait, Deion's not a receiver; how could he have caught a pass from Brettie? Why, that's easy. Just ask one of the other 272 defensive backs who have been the beneficiaries of Brettie's largesse.

And guess what? Prime Time ran both of those interreceptions back, first in college, then in the pros, for a touchdown. Brett-boy's giving spirit knows no bounds.

We here at Favregnügen salute Neon Deion "Prime Time" Sanders, a man who first gave us a taste of what was to come, then followed through as one of a long line of players wearing the wrong jersey upon whom Brettie Boop has bestowed a highlight-reel play. Here's to you, Prime!

Hopefully, when Brettkins become eligible for enshrinement in Canton, the selection committee will take into account the fact that he was repeatedly chumped by a man who owns multiple plaid three-piece suits. An important part of the decision-making process, we believe. Just to make sure we understand exactly what we're dealing with here, let's view the evidence from another angle:

Favre Teammate Engages in Lewd Behavior

Here's a juicy tidbit for all the fans!!!
POOPY!

Mary McCarthy, told police she was startled by a strange sound and saw Davenport squatting in her closet.

I hereby dole out 1 Favregnugen award:

For the Sensitive Man ...

Free Steve and Melly!

Is there no justice in this world? Scott Scherer and Melanie Hardrath are being jailed for the "crime" of trying to protect Hardrath's son from just a sliver of the horrible sights with which the media rots the minds of our children. Turn on prime time TV sometime, see if you can stomach the foul language and frank sexual discussions you might hear at eight/seven-central! A family hour! Try to count the murders, the corpses, the gunshots, the bloodstains, the graphic depictions of violence and death in a single hour of any number of network television shows about law enforcement. Network shows, freely broadcast for all to see. For shame. Have we no sense of decency, America?

Scott and Melly do. They understand what it means to be a parent. What it means to protect the fragile innocence of childhood. Being adults, they choose to watch adult programming, which is entirely their prerogative. They watch Packer games. But do they expose their child to such unsightly incompetent quarterbacking as the recent body of work of one Mr. Brett Lorenzo Favre? Absolutely not.

Being conscientious parents, they chose instead to lock the child in his room during Packer games, to ensure that he would not have to endure the twilight years of a legend in decline, the sight of a washed-up senior citizen desperately clutching for elusive career records at the expense of paying customers who might prefer a team that wins its games. What if the child, in his formative innocence, were to see one of these "games" and grow up with the misguided belief that the object of the game of football is to throw the ball at the guys on the other team, perhaps to try to hit them with it in a sort of bastardised variation on dodgeball? Could they sleep at night know they had sentenced their child to a life of humiliation and ostracism, not having any idea how football is played. Obviously not. Scott and Melly are just a little better than that.

Circuit Judge Jeffrey A. Wagner, bizarrely enough, considered this some sort of child abuse. Is he mad? Did the child go hungry? No, he was provided with peanut butter, jelly and a loaf of bread, free to indulge in all the sandwiches his heart desired. What child would not delight at unlimited jellynutter sandwiches? Yum!

He was also left with a bucket with which to respond to the calls of nature. And, knowing the value of instilling habits of cleanliness in an impressionable child, Scott and Melly were kind enough to force the child to clean out the bucket.

All in all, a child provided with all a young boy might need on a Sunday afternoon, while his loving parents chose to spare him their suffering. Who are we to tell them they are wrong? Who among us has made such a sacrifice for the well-being of a helpless child? A whole loaf of bread!

If you're as outraged as we are, click here, scroll down and send an email to the circuit court offices letting them know what you think of Judge Wagner's decision. Let him know that here in America, we care about our children.

This story, by the way, was brought to our attention by Skeller over at Fake Teams in an article in which he counsels fantasy football players not to draft Brett Favre. Presumably, this advice applies to people who play in one of those leagues in which interceptions count for negative points. Brett does not understand these strange customs.

A few links to enlightenment

Apparently the good people of south Mississississippi want Brett to shave that beard. Have they considered the possibility that the beard is a feeble attempt at a disguise? Y'know, so he can go to the supermarket and not be recognised as that guy that threw 273 interceptions.

Noted NFL expert edawg is pleased to report that Brett-boy has in fact made the cut for his highly-anticipated list of the top ten quarterbacks in the NFL today. Um... today, edawg? As in "This Day in History"? What is this, 1995? Where's Drew Bledsoe on this list? Where's Jeff Hostetler?

Brett may not be able to read defenses so well in his advancing age, but he can read! He even wrote a book in which he details his youthful love of drugs. And hey, who doesn't love drugs? They make the defensive backs' jerseys look green! I think I'll throw the ball to that guy. Why is he running towards me?

This eager young Milwaukeean wrote an insightful review of the tome in question in which he manages to completely dodge the subject of interceptions, surely a defining trait of Brett-boy's storied career. He also mentions that "most books that [he has] to read for school" are "a waste of time". It's this sort of intellectual curiosity that leads youngsters to look up to wholesome, competent heroes like Big Brett.

But this spoilsport doesn't think it's cool to chase ignominious records at the expense of your team's future. Boo! Yeah, we understand sarcasm, pal. Drag your sorry butt back to Wyoming and leave Brettie alone.

Meanwhile, here's an angry gentleman who appears to be posting from the future, in a time when Brett-boy has already broken the big record (q.v. reason five) and Mighty George Blanda has, apparently, had a few of his erased. Have some more painkillers, buddy.

Oct. 7, 2001: Buccaneers 14, Packers 10 -- One for each pick:

Oct. 7, 2001, three Brett Favre interceptions — including one that linebacker Shelton Quarles returned 98 yards for a touchdown. LETS GO FAVRE!!

So many picks, so little time...

According to our calculations, this video depicts career interception number 261 or 262. Who can tell? When you've seen this many, they all just kind of bleed together.

What Could They Be Thinking? ...

Trade Brett!

So whose fault is it that Brett throws all those interceptions? According to Brett, it can't possibly be Brett's fault, so maybe the team is just drafting wrong. According to this article, Brett wants no part of this sinking ship!

Just two or three days after last month's NFL Draft, Favre's agent Bus Cook phoned Green Bay's general manager Ted Thompson and asked that his client be traded, the sources said. In the conversation, Cook railed off on how his client was fed up with the organization and wanted out.

How dare the team draft for defense? Brett wants a receiver!

Brett, it is worth noting, now denies that he ever asked for a trade. He also denies that the Earth is round.

Want Brett off the team? Go vote here! Packer nation needs your input!

The Situation

We've put together some enlightening numbers to show the Favre situation as we head into 2007

The final countdown

As the heart of summer descends upon us, the thoughts of red-blooded American men turn to sweat and shoulder pads. Baseball may be all well and good until training camp opens, but 'tis the battles of the gridiron that truly fire the loins.

Our hero stands at a crossroads. To his right, the high road, comprised of six steps, six steps to glory. And on his left, the low road, a mere four steps to ignominy, so close its scent tickles his nose hairs.

Ladies and gentleman, I present for your consideration one Brett Lorenzo Favre, long-standing employee of the publicly-owned Green Bay Packer organisation of the National Football League. At some point during this upcoming season, Mr. Favre may have an opportunity to throw his seventh touchdown pass, bringing his career total to 421 and placing him alone atop the list of this most admirable statistic, just beyond the 420 achieved by CBS-TV's own Daniel Constantine Marino, Jr.

And at some other point during this season, you can be assured that Mr. Favre will certainly, for the fifth time, sail an errant pass directly into the arms of the opposition, giving him a career total of 278 interceptions, also an all-time high, surpassing the dubious achievement of George Frederick Blanda. The interception has become something of a specialty for Mr. Favre in his twilight years; he's thrown 50 in the past two seasons alone, desperately grasping for Blanda's record.

Join us as we follow Farve's pursuit of these two hallowed highwater marks in the history of our great game called football. Will he reach both? Will he at last sustain a serious injury? Which will he reach first?