A few links to enlightenment

Apparently the good people of south Mississississippi want Brett to shave that beard. Have they considered the possibility that the beard is a feeble attempt at a disguise? Y'know, so he can go to the supermarket and not be recognised as that guy that threw 273 interceptions.

Noted NFL expert edawg is pleased to report that Brett-boy has in fact made the cut for his highly-anticipated list of the top ten quarterbacks in the NFL today. Um... today, edawg? As in "This Day in History"? What is this, 1995? Where's Drew Bledsoe on this list? Where's Jeff Hostetler?

Brett may not be able to read defenses so well in his advancing age, but he can read! He even wrote a book in which he details his youthful love of drugs. And hey, who doesn't love drugs? They make the defensive backs' jerseys look green! I think I'll throw the ball to that guy. Why is he running towards me?

This eager young Milwaukeean wrote an insightful review of the tome in question in which he manages to completely dodge the subject of interceptions, surely a defining trait of Brett-boy's storied career. He also mentions that "most books that [he has] to read for school" are "a waste of time". It's this sort of intellectual curiosity that leads youngsters to look up to wholesome, competent heroes like Big Brett.

But this spoilsport doesn't think it's cool to chase ignominious records at the expense of your team's future. Boo! Yeah, we understand sarcasm, pal. Drag your sorry butt back to Wyoming and leave Brettie alone.

Meanwhile, here's an angry gentleman who appears to be posting from the future, in a time when Brett-boy has already broken the big record (q.v. reason five) and Mighty George Blanda has, apparently, had a few of his erased. Have some more painkillers, buddy.